I cannot pass up this opportunity to voice my horror at the closing of our federal government this week. So I’ll do it in the most efficient manner I know how…with
Your Friday top 10 list!
Here are my top 10 reasons to avoid a government shutdown:
10. Hillary Clinton may join forces with Benjamin Netanyahu, call for early elections, and be in by Thanksgiving.
9. Congressmen with too much time to tweet photos of their nether regions.
8. If it goes too long, Boehner will have to scalp his Ohio State tickets and miss them getting trounced by the University of Michigan.
7. The Air Force will have to start selling round trips to Las Vegas aboard Air Force One — $99 plus free drinks!
6. The bears at Yellowstone may have to leave the park and forage at the McDonald’s drive-thru.
5. Jay Carney might figure out he can make a lot more for his fictional stories at the New York Times.
4. Detroit’s bailout check will be too late to cash it for the weekend.
3. The Postmaster General may bore us to tears with his threats to stop Saturday delivery.
2. Pilots won’t get their instructions to circle O’ Hare without reason for 30 minutes…they’ll just land.
And the number 1 reason we should avoid a government shutdown…
1. 435 Congressmen, 100 Senators, and 1 President can start the 2014 campaign season NOW instead of waiting ’til December FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS HOLY OPEN THE CAPITAL BUILDING DOORS!