Yes, it’s back. The Biggest Loser returns on Tuesday. Despite my resolve not to watch it again, I know I’ll be drawn in like a politician to a microphone. So here I give you my Top 10 Reasons to Watch The Biggest Loser:
10. Wondering why a big company like NBC can’t hire someone to pick out Harper’s clothes.
9. Watching two dozen morbidly obese people turn into fitness experts in one week.
8. The cool x-rays that show bone surrounded by a twelve inch layer of fat.
7. The sound of millions of middle-class white housewives swooning over a bald black man.
6. Watching people throw up while trying to enjoy your popcorn (and wondering why NBC can’t just stop after one).
5. Counting the number of times contestants say, “At this point in the game, this is HUGE.”
4. Watching 24 grown-ups suddenly turn into backstabbing, squabbling teenagers.
3. The absolute horror of the pre-show videos–fat people in their underewear, eating large pizzas for a snack, while watching last season’s episode of The Biggest Loser.
2. Knowing that at least half the contestants are married and wondering how in the world they…never mind.
And the Number One reason to watch The Biggest Loser this year is…
1. Realizing that there are millions of people just like this out there and YOU are now paying for their health care!