Top 10 Reasons the South will Rise Again.
10. A strong desire to kick Shania Twain out of the Grand Old Opry and inform her that southern Ontario doesn’t count.
9. Still haven’t forgiven Patrick Swayze and his attempt at a southern accent.
8. The Dallas Cowboys Super Bowl chances will improve drastically with 60% of the NFL teams in another country.
6. Chance to replace Dixie with Sweet Home Alabama as the Confederate Anthem.
5. Still time to get Sandra Bullock’s photo on the currency.
4. Could have had the BP oil spill cleaned up in two days with free beer and Daytona 500 tickets to “Top Oil Collector.”
3. They’ve already printed invitations for 20 million Tea Partiers in the north (please don’t forget mine).
2. Chance to change food labeling laws so that “unsweetened” can mean “less than three cups of sugar per quart.”
And the #1 reason the South will Rise Again…
1. The chance to hear President Allen West cut loose with a Rebel Yell!