Top 10 Reasons Godzilla is the King of the Monsters

Posted On May 28 2014 by


Yes, it’s true. Godzilla is back. He’s bigger. He’s badder. His plotlines still suck. We love him. And here are the top 10 reasons why:

10. He proves that slow, fat guys with bad breath can still be winners.

9. He’s perfected the “Jaw Splitter,” something no WWF wrestler has mastered.

8. A good old fashioned stomping trumps flashy fighting techniques any time.

7. Only monster that can swim 5000 miles without the aid of flippers or gills.

6. He manages to bypass millions of square miles of open country to fight his enemies in a major city.

5. Only monster who can convince the US and Japanese Navy that he’s a good guy just before trashing Tokyo or San Francisco.

4. Proof that the air-war really has no influence on the outcome of a major conflict.

3. Stegosaurus-style spikes prove useless in battle but look really cool (especially when they light up).

2. The perfect male–takes twenty year naps only to awake when a good ass-kicking is required.

…and the #1 reason Godzilla is king of the monsters

1. Only monster that can take out Tokyo and San Francisco just by wagging his tail.

Bonus: The reason King Kong will always be second best is because he fell in love with the first blonde he laid eyes on. Rookie mistake.

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Last Updated on: May 30th, 2014 at 5:54 am, by Ron

Written by Ron

Just about everything I believe has been shaped by the written word. But books don't force a belief; they stir the imagination so that you, the reader, eventually draw your own conclusions. We grow richer in spirit when we read, deeper in our understanding of the universe and our role in it. That's why I read. That's why I write. To offer you a bit of myself. Come along on my journey, won't you? There's plenty of room.