Or…Why I Have to Self Publish
As all three of my faithful readers know, I just finished my draft of Camp Dogs and plan on launcing it in November.
Before then, I’ll attend the ACFW conference in St. Louis. Yes, I have scheduled agent interviews. Here’s about how I suspect those will go…
Hi! I’m Ron Estrada…no, no relation…anyway, I just finished my draft of a futuristic post-apocalyptic sort of thing. No. No nuclear bombs. Zombies? Nope. Plague? Nah, I hate needles. Just, you know, the collapse of a nation and the struggles afterward. So it’s not really post-apocalytpic? Oh. Dystopian? No…no hovercraft…sorrry. Umm…pre-dystopian-post-apocalyptic-sans-zombies? My protag? He’s 40. Good looking guy. Audience? Oh. Young adults. I can’t? But there’s a cute 16 year old girl who will take over the series from here and…oh, I see. So she needs to be the protag if it’s YA. What? I suppose she could slay a zombie or three. Do federal agents count? No. Okay. Yes! There’s a dog. His name is…what’s that? Middle-grade? No…the kids don’t develop dog-like powers. What is a dog-like power? Rolling in dead things and staring at people until they give up their Cheetos? I suppose they could do that. My kids already do the Cheetos thing, so not a stretch. What’s that? Kids turning into zombie dogs? I dunno. This is getting silly…the marketing department says it’ll be a best-seller in the Topeka Times? By the way, are these the same marketing guys who gave Hillary an $8million advance and lost their skivvies? Oh…sorry….here’s a tissue. No, really, it’s me. I say things I shouldn’t. Sure. I’ll make all those changes. Will I get an $8million advance? Hey…where are you going? I wanna talk about the cover…Wait! There’s a dog!
Like I said. I’ll be self-publishing Camp Dogs (yes, there’s a dog and a cute girl) in November. Just in time for Christmas. And if you’d like to give me an $8million advance, I’ll be happy to provide you with my PayPal info!
Oh, hey, do me a favor and go subscribe to my newsletter. It’ll have a fun serial novel included and updates, offers (yes…freebies), and the like. No, I won’t send you into spam-rage. I don’t have the time. Zombies? I’ll think about it. It’s up there. On the right (my left because I’m looking at you). Thanks!