Top 10 Signs that Winter is Almost Over

Posted On Mar 6 2014 by

It’s March. Yes, it’s true. And we know what that means, right? Here are my top 10 signs that winter is almost over… 10. You welcome the new neighbors and find out they’ve been living there for years. 9. You’re peeling off six layers of clothes to try on swimsuits at the mall. 8. You posted a photo of melting ice on facebook. 7. You sacrifice a snowman during the vernal equinox. 6. You catch your kid praying for a snow day and you ground her for the next twenty summers. 5. You stop referring to your dogs and cats …


Top 10 Winter Olympic Sports we really want to see

Posted On Feb 20 2014 by

As I understand it, Winter Olympic sports were developed from real-life situations often encountered in the daily lives of northern folk. While this still doesn’t explain curling, I do believe it’s time to update some of these events to better reflect the modern snow-dwelling peoples. So I give you my top 10 Olympic Sports we really want to see… 10. Beat the plow: athletes must shovel fifty feet of driveway plus another twenty feet into the road before the county snowplow buries them and their families alive. 9. Blind auto racing: drivers race on a 20 mile track with a …


Top 10 Valentine’s cards we could have really used…

Posted On Feb 13 2014 by

Top 10 Valentine’s cards we could have really used… Time for a reality check. Here are my top 10 “inside the card” lines for Valentine’s Day: 10. It’s either that or I start feeling empathy with The Bachelorette contestants. 9. I start my diet tomorrow…I promise! 8. You married me…so it’s kind of assumed. 7. Because chocolate is cheaper than child support. 6. Because someone has to wear the title of World’s Luckiest Girl and it might as well be you! 5. The rash is only temporary. 4. And if my father asks, you do not have a job that …


Top 10 things Southerners may not realize about Up North Living.

Posted On Feb 6 2014 by

Top 10 things Southerners may not realize about Up North living. 10. We frequently get out of our cars at red lights. Don’t panic, we’re only snapping the ice from our windshield wipers. 9. We destroy at least one Christmas light extension cord with the first snow blowing of the winter. 8. We stress out over the very real possibility that we’ll run out of windshield wiper fluid. 7. If you see a guy wiping his windshield with snow, he ran out of windshield wiper fluid. 6. The average life expectancy of a January car wash is 6 minutes. 5. …


Top 10 Observations from the Jury Box

Posted On Jan 30 2014 by

This last week, I had the opportunity to serve on a jury. While there, I noticed a lot of little details about jury duty that I’d never realized. So, here are my Top 10 Observations from the Jury Box 10. Judges and their clerks are responsible for the current global sticky-note shortage. 9. Most of the people sitting in the courtroom are just passing the time while waiting for another appointment. 8. Defense attorneys should be eligible for “Best Actor/Actress” at the Academy Awards. 7. Jury rooms are maintained at 48 degrees to ensure quick deliberations. 6. Yes, the jurors …


Top 10 Lessons I learned from my Dog

Posted On Jan 24 2014 by

As a dog owner–and sometimes dog lover–I’ve come to appreciate the life lessons my dog has taught me. I thought I’d share some of those with you. So here are the top 10 lessons I learned from my dog. 10. Staring, unblinking, into the eyes of a person will cause food to appear. 9.  Bark vigorously at least twice daily. 8.  If you can’t find anything to bark at, simply make something up. 7.  Other dogs aren’t really larger than you, they’re using their powers of illusion to fool you. Feel free to attack. 6.  Cat paws are not like …