Top 10 things I miss about the 1970s

Posted On Jan 16 2014 by

I thought I’d do something a bit different this week. Here are the Top 10 things I miss about…the 1970s 10. Saturday morning cartoons, the only time you could watch three full hours of cartoons. 9. Getting my first radio with a cassette player…and those big, fat, clunky “Play” buttons. 8. Pulling out the buttons to set your car radio stations. 7. A high-beam switch on the floor where it belongs. 6. Dolly Madison commercials during the Peanuts cartoons. 5. The “Pause” when a sitcom actor had to wait for the applause to stop. 4. Collecting Topps baseball cards because …


Top 10 Reasons to Read 52 Books this Year

Posted On Jan 10 2014 by

Apparently, some of you people need incentive to join the 52 Book Challenge. Allow me to offer you my top 10 reasons to read 52 books this year… 10. Mid-term election commercials begin…now. 9. It will be like taking 52 vacations to places you’ve never been. 8. When the family demands dinner, you can say you’ve fallen behind in your book count. 7. The look on your neighbor’s face when those Amazon drones hover at your front door every week. 6. Alcoholism and depression among librarians are at all-time highs. 5. Breaking Bad is done. No, it’s not coming back. …


Top 10 Ways to Pay off our $17trillion Debt

Posted On Jan 2 2014 by

Even though we’ve been informed the debt is under control, I’d like to offer a few suggestions to speed up the process. So, as a service to our President and Congress, here are my Top 10 Ways to Pay off our $17trillion debt… 10. Charge a “protection fee” on all countries housing U.S. troops. 9. Eliminate John Boehner’s tanning salon allowance. 8. Cut federal benefits from anyone listing “Mortal Combat 2” as a skill. 7. Legalize pot and pass a huge tax bill on it while everyone is still celebrating. 6. Charge congressmen and senators one month’s pay every time …


Top 10 things to do between Christmas and New Years

Posted On Dec 27 2013 by

Christmas is over. New Years is sill a few days away, so I offer you my top 10 ways to spend the week between Christmas and New Years… 10. Join a gym so you’ll have someplace to shower when there’s a power outage. 9.  Invite all the neighborhood kids over to devour the leftover goodies (then send them home). 8.  Wrap all the gifts you don’t like so you can re-gift them next Christmas. 7.  Figure out how to use your new electronics…but give up by New Years. 6.  Put up a “Countdown ’till school starts” calendar to torture your …


Top 10 Christmas Gifts for Writers

Posted On Dec 20 2013 by

10. A year supply of chocolate covered coffee beans. 9. A chocolate-covered-coffee-bean grinder. 8. A promissory note to never ask them when their book will be published. 7. Cat repellent to spray on their keyboards. 6. One of those portable fire pits in which to hold ceremonial rejection letter burnings. 5. Ten minutes alone with the guy who gave them a one-star Amazon review because UPS damaged the box. 4. A list of homeless shelters in St. Louis so she doesn’t have to sleep in her car at the ACFW Conference. 3. For the romance writer in your life, a …


Top 10 Christmas Specials we hope we never see

Posted On Dec 13 2013 by

In honor of of what was probably the most colossal of bad network ideas in the history of history, the Lady Gaga & Muppets Holiday Spectacular , I give you a list of top 10 Christmas Specials we hope we never see. ABC executives, feel free to print this and hang it over your desks. 10. A Walking Dead Christmas Down Under! 9. Anthony Weiner’s “A Dicken’s Christmas.” 8. Breaking Bad Christmas on Ice. 7. Willie Degel’s Family Christmas Stakeout. 6. It’s a Charlie Sheen Christmas! 5. Rob Ford’s White Christmas in Toronto. 4. The NSA Presents “We see you …